WHAT I DID ON MY HOLIDAYS by HERMANO SEGUNDO (Aged 42yrs and 11 months)

On my holidays, I went to Spain. It was very nice and warm and I liked it a lot.

My dad and my little brother met me at the airport but first I had to wait for ever such a long time for my small bag. After a while, I took a look through the hole where the bags came out and saw a man smoking a cigarette who was watching his friend do a dance on each bag before he sent it out onto the conveyor belt.They were laughing a lot. It reminded me of the flamenco dancing I had seen on TV.

Once I had my bag and had met my dad, they took me straight to their favourite beach bar where I ate lots of little fishes that had been fried until crunchy. I was allowed to have some wine with this by my dad and ended up drinking nearly a whole bottle which made my head feel a bit spinny. So I had to go and lie on the balcony for a bit until I felt better.

In the evening because I had been quiet all day (unlike my little brother whose snoring caused the neighbours to complain ) I was allowed to stay up late and go into the local town and eat a large plate of ham. It was nice and the owner of the restaurant was very friendly and gave me a glass of a fruity red drink called Pacharan which made my head feel a bit spinny, much like it had done in the afternoon. I felt very happy and sang some songs on the way home. I think they were about virgins from Scotland.

The next morning, I did some PE and then took my little brother on a train to the big city of Malaga. It was very exciting and, when we got there, we ran around trying to see as many places as possible, which served more of those little fried fishes and more of that ham. I think we went to about thirteen places and all the owners were very happy to see us and let us drink beer. I drank a lot and until my head became a bit spinny. Before we left we sneaked into a place with lots of barrels that served a sweet drink they make in the city and they gave us three or four glasses. I slept on the train home. I think I dribbled.

The next morning, I felt a bit poorly and think I had caught a cold. So, my dad treated me to some hot chocolate and a big plate of churros which are a bit like doughnuts but much, much better. I felt a lot better after this and walked along the beach for a long way. I noticed, although it was cold, there were lots of girls on the beach and they were not wearing many clothes. Girls are funny.

I think the chocolate worked as, by the evening, my cold had gone and I felt much better. So, we all went for dinner. I had some prawns that came out sizzling so loudly that the noise scared my little brother. I was a brave little soldier, though and made them go quiet by eating them. After that, I ate the leg of a baby lamb. I think baby lambs are cute, but they are better dead and in my tummy. The owner gave us all more of that nice drink, Pacharan. My head felt spinny and I sang more songs on the way home. This time a funny song about a man who was mayor of Bayswater and his family.

After more PE on Monday morning, I felt tired again and, as the sun was shining, sat on the balcony all day and read my story book.

Meat is good and I like to eat it whenever I can. In the evening we all went to a place called Casa Navarre. It is on a hillside and they only give you meat. I ate a big piece of meat and so did my dad and my little brother (he could not eat as big a bit as me though.) . Before that though, we had some more ham and some pudding that my dad tells me was made of blood ( I think he is fibbing ) I was allowed to have some wine with it and something called Orujo which made my head feel all spinny. I didn’t feel too well and did not sing any songs on the way home.

The next morning, my cold had returned and I felt a bit sick. So. I spent the day on the balcony again. It was nice and my story book was good although the bits where the man and the woman kissed and stuff made me feel weird down there.

Then, the next morning, I had to get up very early and go to the airport. I had to stand in a line for a long long long time and I used some very naughty words. I was lucky my dad was not there or he would have been very cross. When I got back to England I felt very unhappy. Everything was cold and grey and that was just the people. I miss Spain a lot.

Now I am home and am drinking a nice cup of tea. I wish it was that nice Pacharan.

THE END